Choosing a massage therapist…Male or Female?

Thought I would throw in my two bits after I visited this issue on another site, About.com Spas, the article titled “Choosing a Massage therapist:Male or Female” This site went on to solicit comments on the subject.Which I encourage you to view.

Sorry to say, but as human beings we have a long way to go in terms of evolution. I have practiced massage for over 20 years. In that time I have experienced so much prejudice as a male therapist. It’s kinda funny, the views some, if not many have, who project their own problems and fears on to the therapist. That’s not to say that some abuses have not taken place. No doubt.

In our society abuse is ever present, in many forms, much of it inflicted by men unto women. As such, men are not trusted with touch and many people cannot accept a man as being nurturing. In my case I avoided much of this perceptual problem by highlighting my service offerings as medical, working on injury, keeping it scientific. Indeed to survive as a Massage therapist, my skills developed along those lines.

For massage to really work well both parties have to feel comfortable. For that to happen there must exist some degree of trust. The bottom line is, be it male of female therapist, the massage can be no better than what both parties bring to the table, so to speak.

Nobody is perfect… On being hurt

One question no one ever asks when looking for a medical massage therapist. “Have you ever been seriously hurt yourself?”. It’s a great question and should be asked often. Who better to help you recover than someone experienced in all the obstacles to getting better.

As a young man, I felt invincible, and that any activity could be accomplished without consequence, but that turned out not to be true. At one point, through work exhaustion combined with a basketball injury to my back, I got laid out, big time. Standing upright was not possible; my right thigh spasmed severely. Because of stabbing low back pains, sitting  down was not possible, not even to go to the bathroom. Laying down helpless the thigh spasms would come and stay, locking me up so mercilessly that my whole body would shake and break out in a cold sweat. The pain was so intense I felt that I could pass out. I prayed to pass out!

Well, I ended up in a nursing home wearing a diaper. I will spare you all the indignities suffered during my stay.

Eventually, I recovered, fully. Although my Physical Therapist told me that I would not be able to play basketball again, I struggled for a different outcome. That prognosis turned out not to be true. Now, I still play at age 53. 

So when you tell me your story, you can bet I can relate at least to what your going through,           maybe even help you get back to health!

 

How to find a good massage therapist

Don’t be lazy. The effort you put into finding a good massage therapist will well be worth your time. Now think do I want to go to the big chain or find an independent?

For example, when you do a web search, to locate a therapist, don’t just read the first page or so listings. Dig deeper. Find a therapist who has his own web site, maybe he or she has a blog. This person is really interested in their profession, so much so they take time to explain it to the lay public. If they are a independent therapist with years of experience they can provide you with the kind of massage that rises above the mediocrity of the big massage chains. This is especially true if you want therapy vs just relaxation work.The skill level is different.

The experienced independent, just by virtue of there longevity, you can infer, has survived in a highly competitive market without the advantages of big advertising dollars. That means there work speaks for itself.

When I graduated the average therapist lasted 3 years. Now days it’s less. We do it largely by referrals, so ask your friends who they see. But don’t stop there your work has just begun.

Do your want a male or female therapist? Let me answer for you, because the answer to that question is well known in the massage community. You feel more comfortable with a female. Over 85% of the Masseurs are that gender. So the men who survive in this profession are among the best. They have to be. Interestingly, when you poll massage recipients who receive massage regularly they express no preference in the therapists gender. They just want the best massage. 

Top performing companies and massage therapy

Successful companies like Google don’t get that way by accident. Even in these difficult times, the company thrives. Why? They think outside of the box. They throw  most  conventional thinking out the window. They always ask how they can improve what they are doing.  Of course, unlike most companies, their employees are highly motivated and very creative. Fortune magazine ranked them as the number 1 company to work for. It was no surprise to hear that all their employees can receive massage as a job benefit, right at their  facilities.

 Google’s Massage therapists are treated with the kind of respect not often afforded in the “real” world, working no more than 12 hours a week. Contrast  that with Massage Envy’s sweatshop- like conditions and meager wages that take advantage of under-trained and undereducated recent “graduates”. I bring this up because Massage Envy does a lot of the “massage” business  but they don’t really provide  much steak, just the sizzle. So, it is not really massage you receive and, therefore, it is more a luxury then a real benefit to your health. Don’t take my word for it…….here is what others think! The Massage Envy ?  or this spa site.

 At Google, the therapists are well trained and represent what massage is really all about. Does the company you work for provide massage for employees?  No? Well maybe they ought to think about it, think outside the box!

My first massage, I have a few questions…

I know that there are many people out there who would like to try massage, but they are just not sure about what to expect that first time. Maybe,  I can provide a few answers to those unspoken massage questions.

Do I have to strip down completely naked? Well, no, the golden rule for massage therapists to follow is to create a safe, friendly environment for their clients. I will massage you fully clothed, if you like; that has happened several times over my career and it’s not a problem. Many folks want to wear underwear, some like to go bare. Along those lines, trained therapists always “drape” their clients, so that the only areas exposed  are the ones being worked on. This protects your modesty, as well as keeping you comfortably warm. When it is time for you to disrobe, your therapist will leave the room, and will knock on the door before re-entering.

Am I supposed to tip? Generally, it is up to you. If your therapist did a great job and you feel wonderful and would like to tip, go ahead. When you’re  at a medical office and receiving massage for an injury or condition, usually no tip is anticipated.  If you go to one of those Massage Envious- type places where the therapists are new, under-trained, overworked and underpaid, you may feel a subtle pressure to tip whoever provided your rub. That kind of defeats the purpose of getting a  low price, discounted massage, right?

What about talking to the therapist while he or she is working? Before the massage is a good time to talk. Tell your therapist of any health conditions you have. Also, ask any questions regarding concerns about the massage. After the massage begins you can talk or remain silent, whatever is more relaxing for you. Talking may help dissipate any nervousness you might be feeling. If you’re feeling any pain during your massage session, you must speak up and inform your therapist so that he or she can make pressure adjustments. Don’t worry about offending the therapist. Good therapists always want feedback so they can improve their massage skills.

I will add more ?’s to the list, shortly. In the meantime, if you have a burning massage question, hopefully, I’ll provide a good answer. Sincerely, Abe Alpert CMT

What massage question do you have?

Deep tissue massage- the matrix (red or blue pill?)

Man up, okay? Women, too. Do you really want deep tissue massage? It’s not a challenge. Most people just want immediate relief of pain. Nothing wrong with that, but if you want optimum performance, or to resolve long standing issues, we are going to have to dig down deeper. Now, that does not mean that I believe in no pain, no gain,only that nothing comes without effort and dedication. Take Kobe Bryant, for example. Love him or hate him, no one would say he did not fully commit himself to the highest levels of achievement. If you work with me, you can be assured I will deliver.  Perhaps you would prefer the busty blond Swedish girl or hunky beef cake. Sure, I understand, but, to me, sports injury or medical massage is not about that. The difference is, one indulges, temporarily, some fantasy; the other can make a  meaningful Improvement in your health, both in terms of quantity and quality of your life.

Over the years, I have literally given thousands of massages. When I’m working with a new client, being experienced, I will quickly  zoom in to locate a problem. Maybe, It’s a sore tendon near the elbow, or a spasm in the calf, or a small tear on the trapezius.  It could be anything. The client will say, “can you feel that?” Yes, sure I felt it. New clients are often surprised by the pains they “feel” with just a bit of prompting from a proficient therapist, we both then agree there is a problem. Massage is, at it’s best, an interactive therapy, it is not something I do to you, like paint your house.

Here is the typical situation. Most of these body problems can be found near the surface, but the kicker is this, often, I feel other abnormalities deeper into fascia, of  which the client is unaware . At times, if I add some pressure to the spot, they might say “Whats that?” Other times, the person may sense something is off, but they don’t know what it is, or they are entirely unaware. So, now, I may perceive a situation that my client does not realize exists. So, is there a problem? Moreover, how do I go about working on it?

Have you ever seen the Matrix movie;  the part about the red and blue pill? Well, it’s a metaphor for being conscious. Do you want to wake up,to your dream? The red pill is real, deep tissue massage; the blue is the blond babe or handsome hunk surface, simply fantasy fluff,  The Matrix scene.

Over the years, I have observed that the deeper the problem, literally, the more internalized it becomes, and the less the patient or client is aware of a problem ever existing in the first place.Essentially, the problem and the person merge together, now  it becomes difficult to separate the person from their “problem”.The original problem, left unresolved, creates new problems, which are just adaptations  that    come about to resolve  the original problem.  Each new adaptation creates another imbalance, which your body will try, yet again, to resolve by adaptation.  Eventually, you run out of adaptations, now you’re a hurting pup and you want some help with the pain.

So, you’re just getting older?Yeah, I hear that bull all the time. Work on this stuff now and reap the benefits of a fully functional body, or wait, until you can’t take the pain any more. Get real….massage.